whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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