I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
