I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
