Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
