a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize