I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
