Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
