i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Randomize
