It's Friday. Sex?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
