I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
