Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm passing your future prison.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize