things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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