Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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