If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
