I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
