when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
