I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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