Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
