therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize