Already got asked if we're dating
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
