He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
