I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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