i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
