I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
