i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize