i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
