we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
