There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
