Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
