I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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