she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize