his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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