My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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