How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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