do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
one might say we're banned from that church
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
