How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
