"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
