youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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