I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
