Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
NoShamevember. You game?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
