ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize