All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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