I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
