i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
