If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize