I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
