YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
