Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
