you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
