Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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