I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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