How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
