fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
