That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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