Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
