There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
