I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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