i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
