I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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