Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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