So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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